7 Signs of Healthy Love | 7 Questions to Ask Yourself
Suppose you have ever searched for something related to 'relationship health' you have most likely come across a colorful range of blog posts and journalistic articles describing how to identify the red flags of a 'bad' relationship and similar. Such resources are vital in many ways - and to many people for that matter. But sometimes, it can be just as reassuring to learn about the healthy behaviors within our closest relationships.
The thing is—relationships aren't always a piece of cake. Not even a wedding cake!
With 2020 being a rather challenging year all in all (let's not get into that) our loving relationships have never been more vital to us. Or more accurately put, we may not have previously realized how vital they are to our happiness and wellbeing. Our healthiest and happiest relationships and closest bonds certainly deserve celebration - now and every day of the future!
So what are the signs of a healthy relationship we can look out for?
Here are 7 questions you can ask yourself to help diagnose the true health of your relationship:
How am I feeling? This may seem a simple question to start off with but it's possibly the most telling from this entire list. Your regularly experienced emotions, for better or worse, have a lot to do with who you spend most of your time with. We are influenced heavily by the energies of those around us on a daily basis. Do you feel uplifted, confident, and most often the best version of who you are when you are around your partner? This is a great sign that you are spending time with the right people in your life.
How do my friends and family respond to this partnership? Our friends and family members typically know us best of all. They have seen us at our very best and at our worst too. Although we may not always like to truly admit it, they can often offer us valuable insight that we may not be able to establish for ourselves otherwise. Are those close to you supportive of your choice of partner? Do they offer to spend time with them beyond social obligation? If so, this is a very positive sign. Pay attention to how your loved ones interact with one another. Doing so might well reveal the answers you're looking for.
Do I feel safe in this relationship? Our relationships should be safe spaces for us to feel able to express ourselves and our emotions. Do you feel comfortable being all of who you are with your partner? If you seek your partner to share your concerns, fears, and ambitions with them, this is a sign that you are feeling secure.
Are they someone you'd befriend? It's tempting to fall for the person we are most magnetized towards without considering what they offer beyond the initial attraction and honeymoon phase of love. This is particularly true of the relationships we choose earlier in our lives. Friendship is the key to a healthy relationship. Would this person be someone you'd choose as a friend? If the answer is yes, then you are on the right track.
Do I see a future with this person beyond practical planning? It's one thing to have a plan together financially. Practical planning is useful for any long term relationship. Vital, even. But having a vision of how you might be able to grow and evolve together as time passes is also really important. Can you see yourself with this person in 10 years, enjoying the activities and building a life that you both will love? Consider this moment your permission to let your imagination run wild. Enjoy!
Are we respectful of one another, even in a crisis? It's one thing to play safe and have a lovely time together when everything is going easy breezy. However, when the pressure is on it can often reveal the true strength of our most intimate connections. When things get tough, as they inevitably sometimes do, you need to be able to remain a team. Pause to think for a moment. Are you able to remain completely respectful of each other, even when there is an issue unfolding between you? If so, you have the foundations of a very solid relationship indeed.
Do I feel valued? You are an incredible and entirely unique individual. You really are an amazing person! The right person will not only see this, but be able to organically draw out the very best sides of you regularly. Your relationship with a partner should make you feel you are of value to them, and that you are a priority in their life. Small signs such as offering to ease your task list or drive you to work add up to a significantly bigger message; one of genuine love and care.
As we touched upon earlier, there is no blueprint for a perfect relationship. Nor should there be! Relationships are varied, vibrant, vivacious creatures that cannot be replicated twice over. In this way, they are the authentic gifts of life. They are the vessels for which some pretty incredible life and love experience will be held. Pretty inspiring, right?
But no one said it would always be an easy ride, but it will always be a worthy one.
Do not seek perfection. Instead, focus on the positives you share together with your partner. Liberate yourself from the limits of comparison with others (no matter how tempting) and instead celebrate even the smallest of successes with one another. Genuine, authentic love doesn't come along every day. When it does, it is something to treasure and nurture to full and glorious health.
Enjoy your onward journey together - celebrations included!
